Saturday, 28 November 2015

I really need to rewrite the blurb for one of my 'proper' novels, I liked it when I wrote it but not now. The plan to let myself be absorbed in writing the feeder story before getting stuck into another Brethren book isn't working. I threw myself in and at first it felt like it was running okay, the film reel started to turn but not only has that lovely review from Chrisntinab given me a nudge to write more Brethren, I'm missing the fun aspect. I can dot about and be a bit silly without getting bogged down with planing and making endless adjustments, plus I can indulge in talking at length about what's preoccupying my mind.. The back drop of the Brethren world for the feeder story gives huge scope but it can't be the sole focus of my writing. I've got to go back to Brethren in the foreground and everything else being completed in chunks in between.

I need to play with this kind of thing

And this, I need variety

Not that technology or my energy levels are on my fucking side to get much done, well not all technology just this shitty fucking toshiba tablet. I went for cheap and convenient and now I'm paying the price. Battery permanently needs charging, which means ages waiting for it to take even the smallest charge, having run itself right down to empty for no apparent reason and then it gets this saving stutter, which means every other word typed causes brain freeze and screen jump. Using the installed copy of word works better than online but that's kind of not the point. The power switch has been repaired twice and it's still wonky. I avoided an iPad but now I'm thinking I may have to abandoned the tablet and get one anyway! I wanted to get stuck in this afternoon but only managed a few chapters. This makes it feel plodding and is no fun.

And the Brethren books are all about fun, especially this kind!!

And right now some fun would be welcome, a colleague at work decided to have her long awaited nervous break down all over me. I feel for her, I really do but bloody hell I can do without it and it's just going to mean a lot more agro in the next few weeks. I tried playing with some of my favourite toys as a way to liven myself up but when you're exhausted for all the wrong reasons pain is just pain and no aches are good aches.

 Do what you like, just don't wake me up.

 Vac beds and tattoos are currently occupying my mind, it's all about finishing my sleeve and wanting to try a vac bed even if it's just once! I think I need some subspace, no better way to let go of other peoples shit than escaping into your own head.

This looks good, an afternoon of this

Or even an hour or two of this, would be perfect!

My inbox is always a good measure of my state of mind, I email myself reminders and story ideas, effectively using it like a rolling notepad and to do list. When it's over full I'm either energised or over tired and worried, making worry notes and double checking myself. I can easily spend a day just clearing my inbox and head!

Time to throw myself into something extreme, out there, something that will either bring the world into sharp focus or blow it apart. I need The Boss to take total control while I decide which it's to be.

I've simplified Christmas. I'm adding up everything I'd spend on rubbish and giving it to charity.

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