Saturday, 28 November 2015

I really need to rewrite the blurb for one of my 'proper' novels, I liked it when I wrote it but not now. The plan to let myself be absorbed in writing the feeder story before getting stuck into another Brethren book isn't working. I threw myself in and at first it felt like it was running okay, the film reel started to turn but not only has that lovely review from Chrisntinab given me a nudge to write more Brethren, I'm missing the fun aspect. I can dot about and be a bit silly without getting bogged down with planing and making endless adjustments, plus I can indulge in talking at length about what's preoccupying my mind.. The back drop of the Brethren world for the feeder story gives huge scope but it can't be the sole focus of my writing. I've got to go back to Brethren in the foreground and everything else being completed in chunks in between.

I need to play with this kind of thing

And this, I need variety

Not that technology or my energy levels are on my fucking side to get much done, well not all technology just this shitty fucking toshiba tablet. I went for cheap and convenient and now I'm paying the price. Battery permanently needs charging, which means ages waiting for it to take even the smallest charge, having run itself right down to empty for no apparent reason and then it gets this saving stutter, which means every other word typed causes brain freeze and screen jump. Using the installed copy of word works better than online but that's kind of not the point. The power switch has been repaired twice and it's still wonky. I avoided an iPad but now I'm thinking I may have to abandoned the tablet and get one anyway! I wanted to get stuck in this afternoon but only managed a few chapters. This makes it feel plodding and is no fun.

And the Brethren books are all about fun, especially this kind!!

And right now some fun would be welcome, a colleague at work decided to have her long awaited nervous break down all over me. I feel for her, I really do but bloody hell I can do without it and it's just going to mean a lot more agro in the next few weeks. I tried playing with some of my favourite toys as a way to liven myself up but when you're exhausted for all the wrong reasons pain is just pain and no aches are good aches.

 Do what you like, just don't wake me up.

 Vac beds and tattoos are currently occupying my mind, it's all about finishing my sleeve and wanting to try a vac bed even if it's just once! I think I need some subspace, no better way to let go of other peoples shit than escaping into your own head.

This looks good, an afternoon of this

Or even an hour or two of this, would be perfect!

My inbox is always a good measure of my state of mind, I email myself reminders and story ideas, effectively using it like a rolling notepad and to do list. When it's over full I'm either energised or over tired and worried, making worry notes and double checking myself. I can easily spend a day just clearing my inbox and head!

Time to throw myself into something extreme, out there, something that will either bring the world into sharp focus or blow it apart. I need The Boss to take total control while I decide which it's to be.

I've simplified Christmas. I'm adding up everything I'd spend on rubbish and giving it to charity.

Sunday, 22 November 2015

I wasn't sure whether to write book 26 or not but after such kind words from Christinab, how could I say no xx

Monday, 9 November 2015

I hereby declare that the next four days are all about being turned on and getting happy. The planets are all lined up, it's time to play


Time for Fb to be let out of her box to play!

Midday on Friday and thanks to clamps, suckers and vacuum tubes my diaper is soaked without even having pee'd yet!!

I slipped it on after the The Boss went to work and spent some wet hours, torturing my nipples, while telling my sissy on whisper a nice long story to get him off.

Just for you Dolly x 

All this has helped get the mojo running wild but my guess is the fact The Boss and I have set aside the weekend for bondage is doing it's bit as well, the anticipation of what's to come making me fidgety to say the least. The Boss learned a long time ago that it only takes a few crumbs to start leading me down the right path, so instructions for shaving and clothing, or lack there of are having a quite dramatic effect.

 Here I am Boss, enjoying the discomfort, waiting for you to return!
But today I need to get some cut scenes finished so I'll be writing about the actually sex and domination while we're actually playing. It's been ages since we've been able to do nothing but play and I can't wait. I'm working on the feeder story and the tentacle story at the same time. Both are going to explore extremes and I'm having to do a lot of establishing. It's dull for me but I think it'll be worth it. Each story is going to have several scenes, like the "life in bondage books", rather than being just a one wank wonders but with each building to seriously extreme conclusions. I'm trying to avoid the build up to the first scene in each being too much but there may be follow ups so I want firm foundations.

It's only polite if you're robbing a character of any dignity to at least give her some back story.


5pm Saturday and I've completed my first feeder scene, it's not been easy concentrating with The Bosses demands but it's worth it just to wear my harness. It's impossible to ignore and makes my nipples so sensitive. I like the discomfort it creates and know I will still be uncomfortable for quite some time after it comes off. Day two of wearing it will be even harder and that's some thing I'm genuinely looking forward to.

The Boss has fucked my face while hogtied and spanked me so hard I'm avoiding  my left cheek. It's been a very good day. A friend posted in Facebook she's had a great day baking, horse for courses I guess. I'm now going to see if my baby and dolly are about on whisper.

They're a great way to discretely keep stoking my boiler without The Boss knowing what I'm up to. I find I can't resist telling him if I make people cum, I like him to know what a slot I am and the punishment that comes as a result. Most likely my day will end with my cooking pasta naked but for cuffs and harness, spending my evening tied on the bed while he drinks and torments me.

My guess is then it will a night sleeping cuffed and if I'm properly obedient I may be allowed to cum tomorrow. The writing will of course play a co dependent role in all this.


I was almost right, there was also a heavy steel butt plug and nose shackle to contend with over night, so sleep was sporadic.  Sunday has started off with a very mellow feeling, wake, bake and bondage. The Boss is playing some game on his tablet with a fascinating PBS documentary about prohibition in the back ground, while I am deciding which book to work on. If it weren't for the fact I'm wearing rubber, a ball gag and manacles it would be just another lazy Sunday.

The day will get weirder, more specialist clothes and gear, long periods spent tied up and sucking cock but I learned a long time ago that kink needs to be insinuated into our ordinary life for it to work rather than it substituting normality. Neither of us are the kind of people that can play act so adopting personas just ends with embarrassment.


I don't know why you bother pretending to be a good wife, we both know you're place is at my feet!

Sunday rolled by slowly until a command saw me tied to the bed clad in full black latex on all fours.

Then a release briefly for weed, Pringles and schnapps. Only to resume and end with me being forced into the stocks and finally allowed to cum.

An orgasm you can't avoid or resist is such a sweet thing!

The harness has marked me so nicely and I can still feel my cuffs two hours after I took them off.

The plus side of spending the weekend devoting myself to bondage sex and pornography is it makes life all about pleasure, profit and delicious pain. The down side? It's addictive, the real world gets less appealing and the more logical the decisions of the subs in my books, to pack it all in and avoid being human ever again.

Just living for pleasure!

I have tomorrow to myself as well, a gap in shifts and The Boss being at work will mean I can continue being Fb for a bit longer. If I'm lucky, a kind deity may grant me an easy week so who knows, maybe I can use my excess mojo to push one of the stories ahead. I have a worry that spreading myself too thin isn't effective given my chaotic thought processes. Not sure if the distraction of nursing my bruises will be helpful either. The sensations from the weekend being kept alive for days will make me just want to do it all again and again!!

This post is all over the place, I can't write about what I get up to, but by god it sums up my writing right now. Something is going very right in that the mojo is working over time but it's so very random.


Too many ideas and desperate to play with them all at once but nothing's hitting home. Satisfying, yes, but no one act or chapter is creating enough of a, reaction, resolution or solid idea, to make me remain focused enough to  throw myself into finishing a story. I'm wondering if writing about such specific fetishes throughout a stories single too restrictive to think creatively?

Or have I just smoked waaaay too much weed which is why I'm rambling and can't really remember what I have written.........

Either way I certainly need to concentrate more on writing for pleasure rather than fretting about output, that was never why I started and it mustn't be why I do it.

It's about the sensation not the production!
The Boss has gone to work but my long weekend of fetish has some time left in it yet. Got a nice cosy pair of pull ups on to be warm and wet in, maybe an enema just because I can but not sure yet. Four solid days of sex, bondage and fetish, my gag and harness marks are hurting, my bruises aching I am indeed a happy pervert!!