Monday, 7 September 2015

Techno joy! Windows ten may be watching me, invading my privacy and harvesting my data but I don't care. I like it, a lot. With a new laptop  the on going overhaul of the way I use my tech toys means instead of just hoarding pictures and films I can use them in a more dynamic way. Hopefully it will help avoid the duplicate pics on here. I've tended to get lazy trawling through the Seagate and pick favourites to use but now with so much streaming and ever changing availability, stuff comes to me rather than having to hunt and collect it. All of this being good news for anyone who stumbles in, the pics are good, the nonsense in between, not so much so.

This is what you want! Not my self absorbed repetitive rambling!

Of course all this isn't new to the rest of the world but as is so often the case it's not until you're forced to change that it happens. It also of course means picture holding has become a preoccupation again, in turn reminding me of just how easily I'm distracted. This in turn confusing me even more about an idea that's been niggling away at the edge of my mind. My output under various names, not just the Brethren books, is earning enough that I can consider taking a career break for a few months and have a go at writing full time. Every writers dream I hear you say, what's the problem but deep down I know I won't concentrate long enough to achieve anything. I mean the halls been waiting to be finished all bloody year and just at the moment I'm actually really enjoying the day job! Common sense says put the money away until work is shut and I need a break but not only do I know I have no self control and I'll blow it long before that happens but I also know that if I'm so fucking frazzled from work I won't be in the right frame of mind till it's too late anyway!

Basically I want more time, I can have more time but I know I'll waste it once I've got it! first world dilemma.


(See, even typing this I got distracted and ended up messing around with tumbler! Found this Pic though so it was worth it)

and of course the whisper distraction would be a major problem. I keep telling myself to put my creativity into writing rather than messing around in there but I can't resist the immediate pleasure you get from making some one cum. The books give a background buzz of knowing I'm wielding this power but you can't beat that quickly on whisper. The boss thinks it's hilarious that I get a kick out of it but he's very focused on his own orgasms to get anything out of strangers coming but I love it. It's like fishing and I've learned so much about new fetishes and what makes people tick. Buzz words for certain kinds of sensations and fantasies. I love the power it gives me it, in fact it's just so much fucking fun!!

No better way to get the pulse rate up!

One of the things I've always been pleased about is under all my author names and even when playing 1:1 I've been complimented on the darkness. The way I bring elements of horror into sex but no matter how much I try I can't take enough of the sex out for stories to be pure horror. The two are so intrinsically linked. Nothing turns me on like the suffering of others, controlling them but I seek release through total loss of control. I get off telling stories that would haunt other people but nothing goes into one of the Brethren books unless it turns me on. My 'serious' books require less work. They trot out into the page and just need an edit but for the Brethren it has to be right.

I keep thinking with each new scene "is this too much? Have I gone too far this time?" but I know there's no such thing as a new fetish a new kink, so what ever I come up with in my twisted mind some one else has been there first and probably gone much much deeper. I like writing other things but the brethren are the most fun. This blog may be shit but peaches is the only one of my author identities who's any fun. The others have very serious boring worthy and appropriate blurbs but what's the point having a worthy alter ego! At least two of my other authors are probably members of the Green Party and save whales, peaches exists in another world entirely. There are no environmental issues in hell. 

I remember as a teenager having a bully I disliked intensely. She made walking home a nightmare and I dreamed of her demise most fervently. A particular favourite was the dream of drowning her in concrete or more accurately setting her in concrete, face and fingers just creating the great grey mass so I could hear her cry and see her fingers twitch helplessly. The concept of the immobility in this scenario confused the whole thing and I spent some time wondering if I was a psychopath but after managing to separate the two parts which made up the scenario the seeds for my identity as sadistic sub were sown. Only now with a sense of identity fully formed the plant that grew from the seed coming into bloom. 

This shouldn't be a turn on but it is, I am beyond help!

I have a lot of prep to do. It's the boss's birthday which will mean full regalia. He has a favourite outfit so I need to stick up on silicon products to ensure a good shine but I'm looking forward to it. As it's a special occasion FB will aim to please all the more and as we all know the more you put it the more you get out. 

As you may have gathered I'm still on a bit of a high. Work is good, home is good, head feels clear. Long may it all continue. This state of mind makes the ideas flow and fills me with a nice kind of energy. I want to throw myself into everything. The boss keeps saying happy wife happy life and I'm pleased to say the good vibe Is mutual.

The happier I am the easier the cruelty comes. Like a badly behaved child who bites when they get over excited, I want both to hurt and be hurt. Lucky old me, I can do both and make others happy for money

Call me what you like but I know what I am and I'm happy x

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