Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Nothing, today is all about doing nothing, it's about sitting in a chair, eating, maybe writing but sod all else!! This is the first time in months I feel like I've caught up enough to be able to spend some time getting my head together. The sheer unsettling busyness of the last couple of months has meant that the writing process (god that sounds pretentious but I can't think of a better way to put it) for story 23 was much more sprawling than usual. Usually ideas come rapid fire following on from stuff I've seen or I'm obsessing and masturbating over but it took so long to find time to actually type anything, some themes have repeated. Ideas came and went without being recorded to the point now that they're starting to crash into each other. Story 24 is starting to run away already but my common sense is telling me to work on the next 'proper' novel. I've also started to play with some ideas around some cuckcold and fem Dom stories.

Bugger, looked like a bloke on the thumbnail!

That's better!

I started playing around on whisper and have found when it comes to writing I have to be the Dom, I tried messing around being a sub but it feels much more comfortable and enjoyable doing the torturing but in real life and watching porn I have to be sub. I don't think the word switch fits, the places in my mind and life for the two roles are very fixed, there's no flexibility about what works where, I'm a "sadistic sub". That kind of equates to ass hole but we'll gloss over that!

No point pretending any more, I'm a bitch!

Anyway, having discovered this jolly little past time I've got a couple of regular guys who like to play sub. Dolly is my favourite, I like making him cum and I feel like I want to explore this further by writing a Brethren strand with male victims. Ideally I want to take a month off from the real world just to write and get all of these ideas out of my head but I can guarantee if I did I wouldn't apply myself and it would be a waste. I tend to be one of those people who need motivation and being home some for too long sends me crazy so I just need to get organised and try to put some time into all three projects.

Brethren, life in bondage. Book 24: A very juicy journey around an art gallery, playing with more rubber and cock sucking.

"The proper novel"

This picture has no relevance to the proper novel, I just like it!

And Tales of Dolly. Male sub of the Brethren. (Or something like that).

I just want to do them all as much as each other but however much I know the proper novel needs moving forward, I'm horny as hell and want to be totally Fb. I'm in a hormonal vicious circle again, not a bad state of affairs if I'm honest!!

Just to reassure you all I'm not playing on whisper behind The Boss's back! He knows damn well it gets me wet and he's happy to take advantage! But he likes to add a little something. Being gagged and shackled while playing and only being released if I make a stranger cum is a favourite if he catches me and I haven't told him what I'm up to. I also have to keep a record of the number mid week so he can extract payment for so much freedom at the weekends. We haven't had a chance to play a full on 72 hour game but we've set a date for a long one. Some couples go on holiday we stay at home and play. Both are about stress release in a way. Speaking of which I had a fun night out with colleagues, got absolutely hammered I have big blanks about the night itself but apparently I didn't make to much of an ass of myself. I think I rather told one guy my life story because I remember him having that "aww poor you" look on his face. I tend to forget I have a different life view to most. I tend to be a bit matter of fact about things others find upsetting. And if you say everything's cool and really you're a happy bunny, they all assume you're being brave. I'm not, I'm just one lucky son of a bitch, but they do say the devil looks after his own!! Trust me, I haven't had half the crap other people have and often I've been the author of my own bad fortune.

The author of my own downfall!

I think I probably said too much to this guy because I want to know more about him. I'm convinced he's got a kink, is there such a thing as kinkdar? Travels a lot, has very specific tastes and just has that camp tweak that says he's not vanilla. I always find making small bits of contact with others fascinating. Never having been part of a scene or anything other than electronic and written contact outside of playing with the boss means I like just like dipping my toe in the water. It's part of the reason I like reviews, I like to know I'm making people happy, that they're enjoying themselves, I love the idea of making complete strangers cum.

I wonder why my brain works that way? Why I get so much pleasure from others cumming?

I live to be used when I'm Fb! 

Of course nothing days have draw backs. If I'm off work and on my own in the house I have a pretty set pattern. Enema, clamps and wearing toys but if the boss is off too and we're not playing, just chillin always end up with me cruising for toys and coming up with reasons why I need everything on my wish list in every shop ever, there's even the danger of wandering onto axsmar which is guaranteed to start me drooling, a bracelet to match my anklet and collar perhaps?.

Or maybe some other metal work?

These look fun!

Vac bed still ticking over in my imagination and given what a success the double bardex has been it resisting just keeps getting tougher. I'm a bit inundated with other toys and probably could have a clear out but for some reason spending the money on a vac bed and introducing something so 'big' into the house feels wrong, Why?!? We've got beds, benches and boxes full of stuff all devoted to sex but I can't commit to this. I think perhaps the fact the house feels a bit over crowded at the moment is also a put off.

Need to take a trip to the dump, clear out my house and my head. Perhaps if I sell some old gear to pay for it, I've done that in the past and it helps make big purchases feel less overwhelming. When I'm an old lady and the hoarders program as comes to sort me out they're going to be in for a nasty shock!! A house full of 1000's of books and sex toys!!!

The bardex creates such amazing heavy cramps, the full feeling I love, I make myself turn the vacuum tubes on my nipples to full before releasing. An intense weekly treat!
Coffee for preference.

Well as predicted my shopping wish lists are now full, time to go see if any of my stable are online. I will tell the boss and he will think up a way to exploit my new hobby, it's a hard life being a slut.

 Horribly hard!

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