I'm empty. It's been the most god awful week. Some one I work with passed away. It was death that was inevitable but the cruelty of it was preventable. It wouldn't be fair to discuss it in much detail and the nature of my job means I can't break confidentiality but I would love to be able to name and shame the people who didn't help this person when we asked them too!!
I can't say I'm grieving that would be presumptuous. She wasn't family but all the emotion of the last week has left me feeling pretty empty and a creeping feeling of anger at the universe and karma for doing what they did to this woman.
After my initial dilemma about where to take the story in book 20 I got into gear and the ideas started flowing but although I'm getting them written down it feels slightly distant. I have a few lone working shifts and some free time so it should all come together by the end of August but i'm learning nothing is ever straight forward.
At the beginning of the week I was obsessing about the possibility of getting a vac bed but reality kind of burst that bubble. The boss went to a friends party last night, I stayed home because I quite frankly loathe the pair of them, she's a self absorbed hippy chic who's desperate for attention and he's a waste of space dole scrounger. Their parties are the same thing EVERY time. She gets drunk and demands every one pays attention to her while he tells bullshit stories about why he can't work and oh dear god I hate them!! The boss however has been friends with him for a long time, so I just use the opportunity to indulge in self abuse.
I did all the usual stuff with plugs and clamps but although I had a couple of nice orgasms my heart wasn't really in it.
Hopefully normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.