Saturday, 23 August 2014

Back on track now! Last week was absolute shite but I've got it all in perspective and if anything it's reminded me just how lucky I am with my life and how I shouldn't take things for granted, yeah, yeah I know it's an enormous cliche but you'll survive!

Stop moaning or I'll find a way to stop you!

If anything I'm feeling kind of energised, I've thrown myself into work, I've got some big battles coming up and shit loads of paper work to go with it but that's okay because right now I could take on the world! My new found enthusiasm has meant however that I haven't had as much spare time for writing on shift as I thought I'd have but ce la ve. 20's still ticking on nicely and will probably be out end of aug, early sept. I have to admit it's taken a bit of a bizarre turn. After my initial indecision about where to go I thought I had it all worked out but then out of nowhere it's got all freaky!!! Some nice oral that left me obscenely wet in a public place but I wonder about my mind some times! It's a fine line between creative and crazy, one which I seem to cross far too regularly.

Normal is a very subjective thing!

The principle of the institute is suffering quite horribly at my hands but instead of feeling bad and being able to intellectualise 'the writing process' I just end up getting horribly horny, indulging myself in thoughts of all those soft folds of heavy latex!! It took all my self control, of which as you know I have none not to press buy it now on eBay and get that a vac bed!!! The boss likes the pure shiny latex but I have a bit of a soft spot for the silicon mix, it some his feels more sensual, like you're being swallowed by it.

This with a full dress over the top.......sweet

I haven't got round to layering he items I bought a few months ago so I think I may just indulge myself this weekend, my beautiful wonderful bondage bra, covered with my heavy latex dress, big rubber pants and trousers beneath, oh that sounds so good. Can't see the boss objecting although he may insist on my paying for the privilege by suck his cock and proving just how obedient I can be! While the dining room is in the process of being decorated my bench and chair are out of commission but the boss is happy to improvise!

The simplest of restraints can be so effective....but it's way too fucking cold for this shit, unfortunately.

I find when we're playing my writing tends to head off into freaky territory my guess it's the heightened levels of arousal that make me push things to the extreme and I've got some ideas about body mods brewing I want to use. I've got the ideal opportunity with the 'little ones' introduced in the last book but before I can get James and Lola to them I want to explore his the subs are retrained, I've got some ideas but they need work. I need to bring some strands together but just at the moment there are too many strands to create something that works. Once again my own libido is making getting my shit together tougher than it needs to be I want to feel and do so much, everything is a fucking turn on.

Need to play with some of this 
Before I can get my freak on with 

Some of this!

Whisper is full of people posting about how their partners sex drive has diminished or disappeared over time, mine is defintely getting stronger, much much stronger and in my current frame of mind Lola may well pay the price! 

Sunday, 10 August 2014

I'm empty. It's been the most god awful week. Some one I work with passed away. It was death that was inevitable but the cruelty of it was preventable. It wouldn't be fair to discuss it in much detail and the nature of my job means I can't break confidentiality but I would love to be able to name and shame the people who didn't help this person when we asked them too!! 

I can't say I'm grieving that would be presumptuous. She wasn't family but all the emotion of the last week has left me feeling pretty empty and a creeping feeling of anger at the universe and karma for doing what they did to this woman. 

After my initial dilemma about where to take the story in book 20 I got into gear and the ideas started flowing but although I'm getting them written down it feels slightly distant. I have a few lone working shifts and some free time so it should all come together by the end of August but i'm learning nothing is ever straight forward.

At the beginning of the week I was obsessing about the possibility of getting a vac bed but reality kind of burst that bubble. The boss went to a friends party last night, I stayed home because I quite frankly loathe the pair of them, she's a self absorbed hippy chic who's desperate for attention and he's a waste of space dole scrounger. Their parties are the same thing EVERY time. She gets drunk and demands every one pays attention to her while he tells bullshit stories about why he can't work and oh dear god I hate them!! The boss however has been friends with him for a long time, so I just use the opportunity to indulge in self abuse.

I did all the usual stuff with plugs and clamps but although I had a couple of nice orgasms my heart wasn't really in it.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.