Friday, 18 July 2014

This probably sounds like a ridiculous thing to say but have you ever been so loved up and happy that it actually feels kind of scary. The feeling that in some way it's all good to be true and if you trust in the good feeling it's going to be all the worse when the other shoe drops and it all comes crashing down around your head. I'm working today and my colleague, after being seriously fucking lazy all morning just did something mind numbingly stupid but I don't care.  Normally I'm prone to getting very shitty about little things but just at the moment I don't care.
All blissed out and hanging around!

I have money in my pocket, a roof over my head and I am ridiculously in love with my husband, In fact I'm like a love sick teenager. I think I probably mentioned the fact that we had a long weekend together coming up, well I can tell you it was absolutely awesome. We had long lay ins went out for a huge meal and behaved like newly weds going to the seaside for the evening and watching the sun set on the beach. We took a long slow walk by the river and spent a day indulging in some hardcore bondage sex.

After sucking on enough of the comfortably numb mints to paralyse the throat of an elephant I repeatedly made him a very, very happy man. He returned the favour by keeping me tied up for long stretches and making me cum, sooooo fucking hard!! With my favourite hood, ballet boots and new bra harness, I was in absolute seventh heaven. I can not go any further without giving a massive plug to the maker of the bra. I am in love with it. If you're looking for something in the breast bondage department, you have to get one of these.

The seller is usedandabused2011 on ebay, and it is the most wonderful thing you'll ever wear, it's infinitely adjustable and made me feel so controlled. Love it, love it, absolutely fucking love it!!! 

Spending time together like that really does help get my head straight about what my priorities in life should be. Put's all the niggly shit my colleague is doing today into perspective. Although for fucks sake Gary, how many times do you have to be told not to do what you just did!! but I digress. I indulged my love of the film secretary the other night, I know a lot of people look down their nose at it but I've got such a soft spot for it, I know it's massively corny but can't help but identify with it and I love the book that inspired it. Every time I hear Lizzie walter chariots rise I get goose bumps. The other song which gets me all gushy is wonder wall, it was the song du jour when me and the boss got together so in the words of simon bates it's 'our song' jesus does that fucking date me. In the current climate and the shadow of operation yew tree it's nerve wracking as to whether  you can mention any one from British tv and radio from the 70's, they are currently going down like flies but that's territory I'm not venturing into, I'm sure there are many people who'd have an axe to grind about the ethics and portrayal of women in the Brethren stories but it really is just wank fodder folks.

Just play with yourself and move on!

I'm sitting waitng for my colleague's shift to end so I've got the place to myself and can do the final edit on book 19. It's been delayed a few days so I'm probably not going to get it out until next weekend which is a bugger but days at work I thought would be free have been busy and with nice weather sitting at my lap top indoors hold little attraction and the boss and I have another long weekend coming up, which I can guarantee will be predominantly devoted to fun. We do need to get some decorating done and the front garden is a shit hole but we're far to irresponsible to spend too much time on the kind of thing.

Book 19 is a bit of an oddity. The end of every book brings on a period of doubt,'is it good enough? should I add this? should I have written that but i think because it kind of went off at a tangent I feel slightly disconnected from it. I like the content but it's almost as if I had to write it to get to book 20. I can never get started on the next story until the previous one is edited and published. It's the one little piece of self discipline I have so it's become rather entrenched. No matter how keen to get going I'm firm with myself, doesn't of course stop the ideas from flowing. In my last blog post I mentioned about enjoying playing with the concepts of cold impersonal places like institutions so this has of course got me thinking about straight jacket and the like. 

Although I love rubber I'm also very fond of canvas and leather used in the right way, I can't remember if it was the prison or the asylum where I described  some one being forced in a corset/straight jacket of wet canvas but the idea has resurfaced and I'm def going to play with it again. I keep wondering if people think the stories are still as strong, the way I write an process ideas is still the same but I'm not the person to be an objective judge about quality, for me it's all about the fun of writing them, okay the extra cash is nice but I'm not about to quit the day job yet but I need to know if i should keep going or make changes. As I'm writing the stories really turn me on but by the third edit I'm so tired of re reading it might as well be a shopping receipt for all the stimulation it gives me! 

Oh for fucks sake, who makes an iPod stand with round to it's foot!! This fucking thing is driving me nuts keeps falling over, had a brilliant one but it snapped and for the life of me I can't find the same one again!!

Lola isn't in 19 enough so I really want to bring her back to play properly in 20 and there has to be much more hard prolonged fucking. 19 is a lot about restraint and control but I want to get back to some good old sex. Found a sweet vid of a man getting fucked in the ass by a machine which I like. It's the grinding monotonous movement of a machine that's intriguing being forced to lay bound as it pounds endlessly, sliding in and out, over and over in and out!!

I was hoping I'd have a parcel waiting for me today. A couple of my new vibes have arrived but not the ones that do tricks. Annoyingly they take the small watch type batteries but there's nothing that says what size so I may end up spending just as much as if I'd bought them full price buying batteries to find what fits. The boss likes making me wear them long term until the batteries die so we get through fucking loads of batteries. The crossed cuffs I bought have turned out no to fit to well. There're too big one way but too small the other so they'll only work with thumb cuffs or something.

Oh for fucks sake Gary, go home! I've got shit to do!!!

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