Thursday, 20 February 2014

He's been putting the eye bolts on the bed. We didn't have time to put them on when we first put the bed together but low and behold without saying a word I notice tonight that he's been busy while I was at work. It's the little things like this that let me know that The Boss is just as into playing as I am. Knowing that he's plotting, planning and daydreaming just as much as I am makes the whole thing so much more fulfilling as the cliche goes "it's so much more fun when everyone commits!"

Bed testing can be exhausting!

Before I go any further I have to apologise to the universe, it's making me pay for being cocky. I made the mistake of feeling smug about books sales so this month karma is making me pay by letting them tank! Sorry universe.

I'm sorry universe, on my knees begging forgiveness!

I've taken a bit if risk, a friend on face book, one of those very distant friends who you make contact with in a group and come to like asked if she'd every get to read my stuff so, other than The Boss she is now the only person who knows both sides of me. She's absolutely adamant that she won't tell a soul and that she's unshockable but I guess only time will tell. It's amazing what people think is a liberal attitude but if something's beyond your imagination then It doesn't exist for you. I listened to a very odd conversation between two colleagues one day discussing what constituted hardcore in pornography. Lets just say their boundaries are much lower than mine. 

I think I've mentioned before that I'm not into scat in any way but I keep musing about forced piss drinking, I find the best way to move on from this kind of fascination is to write about it. Another handy side effect of writing is it helps me to purge obsessions that would otherwise get out of control and cost me a fortune in impulsively buying gear I use once then end up bunging back on eBay. Also The Boss can be very set in his ways and introducing new gear isn't always successful. If something is too complicated or it doesn't catch his attention he won't use it.

I have no desire to drink piss anywhere other than in my imagination but I have a very satisfying little stash of movies which are getting a lot of play at the moment. It would be very easy to get navel gazy about the motivations and psychology of why this should be so but I'd even bore myself with that! I'm doing some training at the moment about schemas and motivation so it's kind of on my mind but I will do my best to avoid getting too contemplative. I'm a bit detached from work and the real world at the moment not sure if it's just a touch or winter low energy or what but all I ever want to do is be home, preferably in bed with The Boss. 

Fortuneatly I have a long weekend off from work and I intend to act on this urge, time for the Boss and I to test drive the bed. It is a very nice feeling to wake up in a bed knowing that one padlock could force me to stay in that bed and be used any time The Boss fancies! Perhaps that's it, my bed is just to much of a distraction for me to function I need to use it properly and a lot so the novelty wears off!

I need some skin time with The Boss. Until then I shall play with leather concepts in book 17. Soft wet, shrinking cocoons of leather which mold limbs. Deform bend and immobilise them. Creating animals by breaking humans and confining them.

I am really having to try and talk myself out of getting a vac bed. I should save my book money buy something sensible or invest in the house but it's a vicious circle, I obsess about bondage so write about it, writing about it makes me obsess about it and because the books bring in some money I can afford to by groovy toys with the money I make which in turn makes me obsess etc etc. not a bad position to be in though.

I tell you what universe, if you let me sell enough books to buy a vac bed I promise I'll save next month....maybe because I am so into the idea of buying more latex trousers.

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