Thursday, 30 January 2014

Well the plan was to do a bit of blogging last night but having had a couple of less than stellar days at work it was probably just as well I didn't, it would have turned into a bit of a gloomy moan. Because of the crappy days at work my writing mojo has also been seriously out of whack but today lo and behold another good review on good reads has lifted me beyond words!!! Bollocks to the ass holes at head office some one enjoyed one of my books and that means more than whether or not you guys appreciate me. I can't claim I'm being picked on or anything, if I'm honest I've made a bit of a prat of myself but as fuck the lot of them. I need to keep reminding myself that it's just a job and not to take it so bloody seriously.

It fascinates me that so many people claim to live the lifestyle 24/7, I can only assume they either have no responsibilities or perhaps my mojo is just really easily knocked off kilter. I have a tendency to obsess about things until I lose sleep, it's not so bad when it's something to do with writing or kinky shit going round and round in my head but it's fucking annoying when it's work stuff. It doesn't help that I'm really no good at letting shit go when people annoy me. I also tend to be a bit of a tin toy, people wind me up and then let me go, all it takes is for some one to feed me info and I'll go charging off without thinking. I've lost count how many times I've promised myself I'll use my head and, lets be honest grow up, but here I am 42 and still an idiot so I'm probably best off just too accepting the fact and sit back to enjoy the ride!

Another review on goodreads was complimentary but was honest enough to admit that my writing style wasn't her kind of thing. She said she didn't engage because there was very little emotional connection with the subs. She is of course absolutely right. Although the whole brethren thing has been a bit of an experiment, if I had anything in mind it was to write quite bloodless porn. I don't enjoy romance and if I'm quite honest struggle with affection in the real world, so the whole thing has been very selfishly geared towards what I like to read myself. The Boss is the romantic in our relationship and naturally a very caring and affectionate kind of guy so I think at times he feels quite neglected, I don't even like foreplay unless it's part of a session. People think I'm kidding when I say I don't do hugging. The number of colleagues who have grabbed me as a joke have no idea how close they've come at times to a smack in the mouth. Saying I have autistic tendencies is the understatement of the century, my guess is if I tried to write some kind of deeper feelings into the stories it would come off as awkward and false. We quite frequently joke that there's more than a passing resemblance between me and Sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory and trust me he is Soooo Leonard!! Have I said this in a post before? I'm becoming aware that I may be posting the same pictures on occasions but I'm going to blame the seagate for that, takes ages for gallery view to load so quite often I lose patience and stop looking for the picture I had in mind, so please accept my sincerest apologies for any repetition.

I'm working over the weekend which is usually an ideal time to get some writing done but I also need to get some actual work done (made the mistake of taking on some extra responsibility now I'm regretting it) I think need to come up with a plan. I'm off today and tomorrow so I'll get all the household stuff done, Friday I'm at work my manger will be in so I'll do the serious stuff then so I look good and busy then I'll have my nice long weekend shifts all to myself so poor old James and Joseph can finally get out of the sun.

I have feeling the rest of today might be a right off, I'm writing this while sitting waiting for an X-ray (nothing serious just a niggling ankle injury) but much as I hate to say it the old man sitting next to me smells so badly of dried wee all I can think of is dirty hamster cages. Nothing like the waft of old amonia to  make you feel queasy. Shame because I quite like hospitals, it's something to do with the equipment. I think it's the kinky mindset. Perfectly ordinary practical items look different through s&m eyes.

To most people a hoist is just a hoist but I see straps and chains. I can't help myself looking a wheel chairs and working out in my head if you could strap some one in so they couldn't get out. Once upon a time I worked in an environment that had lots of assistive technology, leg braces, cervical collars, that type of thing and it could be very hard to concentrate at times.

A bit of hint to my profession there. I think I've said before that it's not compatible to any kind of alternative life style because I have responsibility over very vulnerable individuals and it will stay like that until such time as the average human mindset can separate the idea of s&m sex from abuse but that won't be in my life time. Hopefully the  legalisation of weed will but that's a different story.

When I first started to introduce the Boss to my darker side he commented on how it made him start to look at things differently. I can remember him bursting through the door to show me a photos of Liz Hurley in the sun because he'd spotted she was wearing ballet boots! He wouldn't have noticed just a week before but as we keep joking to each other when we spot something in the mainstream media, on tv or in a film that has that double entendre style kinky under tone "it gets everywhere!".

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