Saturday, 15 September 2018

I have a crush on a gentle man. I still day dream, get off, and want to write about women being bound and suffering, but I want to devour this gentle man, own him and make him cum. I am a widow just as I get into my sexual stride. I only ever want to be owned by The Boss, now he is gone, I want to be the owner.

Book 33 is on it's way, not long now

I'm thinking in book 34 I might teach Lola and Ms Cruz a lesson or two, what do you reckon?

Friday, 10 August 2018

The Boss died a year ago. I am single.

There is profound loss

No I don't want to talk about it

I am rebuilding life, life isn't all bad

and I have discovered.

I only want to be a sub to a man I love.

I still want to write about, and get turned on by, females being sexually tortured and subjugated


In real life, 

I want to own, restrain and sexually torture a male sub.

Go figure!



Friday, 24 February 2017

Ok, two apologies. First one is for fucking up pince nez in every book so far. I've had a total blind spot to it until this last book when I suddenly noticed what I've been. Can't be fucked to go back and correct it but I promise to get it right in future. My guess is it's grated a few nerves because Agatha pops up a lot but y'know. Shit happens. This all about the bondage, no ones claiming it's literature.

Quick, look at the groovy picture, pay no attention to the spelling and grammar
(It just had to correct my spelling of grammar. I'm a hopeless case)

I bow my head in shame

The other apology is the time its taken for thirty to come out. 


The Boss has had a hospital stay which was rather awful but he's on the mend now. A sub rattling round at home without her owner is a sad little creature but the upside is he's off work for a while and I've got shit loads of leave to take so we're all loved up with lots of time to play.

I have to confess that while he had a private room we proved to be very bad people and put the bathroom to good use. Me hanging onto a shower rail and him a drip stand. We're very bad people, thoroughly disrespectful but damn it felt good after being apart for so long.

Medicals not as cool when one of you is REALLY sick

I'll try and avoid the cliche of saying of neatly losing some one makes you appreciate them and life all the more but it's proving to be so true for us. I we're both home we play, I'm never without some type of restriction or control measure and we've opened up about the home alone activities. The things we've previously had as slightly open secrets.

While he was away I had the opportunity to try some over night experiments with infantilism. It was very comforting and hope to try some of the things as part of humiliation games with The Boss.

I celebrated his return home by having a spending spree, I have bought soooooo many Gord books for my collection. I found a seller on eBay with a nice rich seam of them and got a bit competitive bidding but just owning them gives me a happy shiver.

I've also bought a set of claws which are nasty little creatures and the most divine set of finger clamps . While you're wearing them you're forced to do nothing and just sit or lay in specific ways. They so heavy and cumbersome you're pretty debilitated. Any fast movements causing pain or discomfort. Every now and then you find a piece of equipment that brings about a sense of inner calm. I've corn to understand that being controlled makes me feel safe and I look for that as part of playing now more and more. Fortunatly being able to talk to The Boss about this he's taking the time to include more control.

I've decided to make this a year of ceasing every opportunity to have fun, again a cliche that I've probably used many times before but be happy people, it's a much better way to live.

Ok time to compensate for a really crappy blog post with some of the inspiration for book thirty and for what's to come in thirty one. Without The Boss in my life my creativity died but now we're back on track in so many ways!!

Be happy, life's short

Sunday, 20 November 2016

I try and make a point of creating a blog post with each new book but I have fuck all of interest to say. I'm really happy with 29, that's out now. With 30 already starting to write itself. I'm very please with some particular cruelty involving a jaw loosened to accept a huge cock. Some fun over night in Paris and an iron lung!!!  But I haven't got more to say. Work is shit, the dogs ill and Christmas is just a bit too far to really get into just yet.

So here's book 29, enjoy

30's on it's way with a lots of humiliation and just a touch of body mod degradation. So until next time, have some pictures, some relevant to 29, some just because I like them xx

And these are the ideas I'm playing with for number 30!

Saturday, 17 September 2016

I have discovered a speed faster than that of either light or sound, and it's the speed with which The Boss said "yes, yes, make it so" when I suggested we buy ourselves a nice new set of good quality latex sheet and pillow cases! His enthusiasm is entirely justified however as they are absolutely wonderful!! A whole bed covered with it is truly something special, oh how he grinned and made happy little noises,  smirking away to himself. It says a lot about us that our anniversary gifts to ourselves, were the aforementioned wonder sheets and a membership of the national trust.

Enjoying the scenery dear?


We've spent best part of a week indulging in anniversary celebrations, some consisting of the normal things like romantic walks, champagne, flowers meals etc the rest very much rubber and spanking orientated.

All of it however wonderful, reaffirming just how good things can get when you're with the right person. I granted myself a couple of sick days from work

"sorry, won't be in the rest of this week, I'm feeling a bit bunged up"

to extend the fun and it was worth it, not just to have time off with my man but when you worry about not being able to keep things under control at work it's time to step back a bit. I have a list of people I want to throttle so it's deep breath and step away time.

It's always a buzz to see how many people but the next chapter as soon as it comes out, a new book always gives sales a bump but it's also immensely flattering to know that people enjoy my crazy musings. I also had a lovely new review, the young lady was impressed by the content but apparently I'm a little mean for her taste, fair due. Her kind words about the writing were very welcome and I can't argue about my style being mean, hell it's outright sadism, cruelty and brutality rolled up in a big aggressive bundle.


Book 28 is a little longer than normal, not by much but I strayed away from the usual scene per chapter ratio but I had ideas that I really wanted to explore and they fit so nicely in worth the backdrop and story line. I am of course on a complete guilt trip now for not having taken time to write over the weekend given book 28's great reception but that seems to be par form the course with my psyche. A little bit of my brain that will always be my mother, intractable guilt about really stupid things. That ingrained niggly feeling that sitting around writing, reading, getting your kink on or just generally being a chilled stoned us a waste of time. Logically anything that improves your mental health can't be a bad thing but control freakery is hard wired to spoil your fun.

Busy doing nothing......

It also means that having taken best part of a week off work I have a small creeping feeling of dread that I'll be walking back into chaos of all my good work having been undone, lots of presidents set that I'll have to dismantle but ce la vie. You have to let go or you'll go down worth the ship. Even though I've had a lovely time I've just managed  to sound miserable haven't I? I'm not, really, really I'm not.

You probably can't tell, but I really am smiling

Finishing this a week later

Okay, so I have to acknowledge the fact that I don't feel like I've had a break from work until I've gone back to work to discover everything's okay and I realise that it's not bugging me. Which shows the holidays worked. I know, I know I smoke too much weed which is why you get lots of talk about daily nonsense but never mind. Have a cool pic to make up for it.

There are no sweeter words to a sub than their owner saying "I've got an erection and I don't intend to waste it" especially when they say it as their locking your cuffs together, even better when it's this that wakes you up.

Wakey wakey fuck toy

Apparently however I'm in for punishment because I forgot to shave last night (I was tired!) and he demands perfection in that specific area. He bought himself a new hood during the week so he's a little over focused on rubber but that's not a bad thing. It of course means I'm obliged to wear his favorite rubber pants and leggings all weekend, but again, no bad thing. My lovely wyred slave cuffs are helping to keep things ticking over nicely as well. discrete enough to be worn all the time without hindering daily life they mean he can act on impulse, something which I wholly endorse! I think I mentioned just how nice it feels to have him falling asleep holding on to one of them. I am so his property!!

I really do have to redo the cover of book one. I've been happy enough with it but now that I've managed to come up with better for other covers, I want to brighten it up a bit. Might even help people give it a read if it doesn't look so gloomy.

Well, the plan is to use the free time I have between being used as The Bosses fucktoy this weekend to pile into writing book 29. I have some wonderful ideas for James train destination, a grand station with lots of potential for packing and possibly extending this to how subs would need to be transported safely as cargo on a plane.

I admit I'm avoiding having James arrive at Danes because it hasn't quite fallen into place in my mind yet but it's created some interesting ideas. Some vague concepts are forming around the fact that if people are being transported like animals and if I don't want to actually include real animals, how can I add some bestial degradation without crossing that line.

I think I need to exploit some dodgy science fiction to create something heinous. Something that would make Dr steinmetz proud, a grotesque creation!!

I want to try and knuckle down a bit and produce 29 a bit faster than 28. I was a bit lax and it kept drifting but I've only got three  shifts out in the real world this week, and another long weekend right after which is ideal for getting stuck in.

Already I'm playing with plastic bags, cable ties and crated piggies in my head.

The Boss has just informed me I'm spending the next couple of hours in the stocks. Apparently once he's shaved me to meet his exacting standards my punishment for neglecting my duty and not doing it myself will involve some heavy duty breath play. Breath play makes me a little panicky but in a good way, it makes me very, very eager to please and feeling exceptionally helpless..........bliss

Before I forget, for anyone over 40.............remember this?